Dundee Universities Slalom, 19/11/16 - 20/11/16

"No' affy weel", as they say in this city, is how the Slalom trip to Dundee began. Turning up late to the disappointed looks of the older members (after they realised a stop at Greggs had made us late), us freshers had no idea what to expect. On our way down to the slalom (with Sam white-knuckle holding onto the kayaks as they slid around on the roof), the excitement grew. Once we arrived at Dundee and overcame the obligatory faff ("are we in the right place? Where are the other Unis??"),we where in and eyeing up the course and other contestants.

The course consisted of 5 gates on flat water over 50 meters, but even that was a challenge for some of the less experienced members of the club (me). With coach Chris offering some last minute advice and a "You'll be fine!" (lies), everyone representing GUCC got in a kayak and gave it their all. Some of the highlights of the contest have to be watching Luca compete and showing the rest of us freshers how its done, Kirsty's skillz in the woman's duo with the most unfazed look on her face and the power struggle between Sam and Chris in their duo. Also Maia getting stuck in the yellow slide.

We came away from an afternoon of poolside fun with two excellent results; gold in the men's' category won by Chris and bronze in women's by Cat. At this point the squad divided into two groups; those going back to Glasgow via Chris's parents house and the surprisingly un-keen sesh gremlins heading for a night out in Dundee. (Word from those who went to Chris's, his parents can cook and 'Curry with the Curry's' should definitely be made a club event).  The night out in Dundee was by all accounts a very strange one, but none the less lit. After some very eventful pres (in which the DUCC social sec showed us exactly how they slut drop in Dundee), we headed down to the union with nothing to keep us warm but some GUSA chants aimed at Strathclyde. The Union itself is huge and easy to get lost in, however getting into it was a challenge with the fire alarm going off... The night ended with us all crashing in one of the DUCC members' living rooms, but I'm sure one of us freshers could've slept in an actual bed had he taken up an offer ;)

Overall the trip was great, 10/10 would Dundee again. Big shout out to Chris and Cat for their achievement and driving us down! Bring on the January freshers' Polo tournament! 

Post by Jessie Shadbolt

Mach Surf Weekend, 11/11/16-13/11/16

Mach, a place that inspires awe and reverence in the older members and anticipation and excitement in the freshers. A trip made to create bonds between our latest recruits and the older members of our organisation through the medium of drinking and maybe a wee bit of kayaking. Our adventure started in much the same way that many a canoe club trip has gone with the intention of being efficient and setting off early, however, needless to say this didn’t occur as inevitably, faff did ensue. Eventually, the minibuses did set off and the joys of a three and a half hour road trip Rothwell and CJ at the helm controlling the music were endured by all on their bus, one anonymous fresher described it as ‘#ravetunes’. At this point I’d like to put a shootout to our greying fox, Mr Fraser Simpson, for successfully completing the stubby challenge and to Mr MacLeod for attempting it with 2.8% beer. At least this was what I was told, as at this point, Tinkerbell, Reece and I were on public transport, stuck on a four and a half hour bus journey with the riff raff. Fortunately, I was sat next to Tinkerbell and therefore we didn’t have to put up with dreadful small talk from anyone on the peasant wagon. Reece on the other had the great luck of sitting next to one of the locals of Tarbert and for the next 3 hours they shared his premixed vodka coke at the back of the bus and formed a firm bond of friendship. However, you unfortunate souls, who are so incredibly bored that reading a poorly written blog by a dyslexic seemed like an appealing idea are not here to read about the joys of bus journey. By some miracles everyone seemed to arrive within five minutes of each other and the time honoured tradition for the race for the best sleeping spot did begin. With the preliminary activities out of the way the mayhem of Mach did ensue. Bottles were opened, cans were cracked and the merriment began (all in a very responsible fashion of course, with everyone only consuming as much as the NHS recommends). Surprisingly, everything went very well on the first night, until some moronic sod got the police phoned on us (not me…) for trying to sleep in the local hotel, who would do such a thing?!? Either way our glorious leader, Spewy McDirty, talked down the local fuzz and sent them scampering back to their doughnuts and warm car. The night then proceeded as planned, unfortunately, I can’t remember any of this but I am reliably informed that a Mr Callum Shanks tried to arrange an exclusively male naked swim, cheeky. This, in the end, became a group skinny dip which was at least partially clothed.

The following morning we all arose with the morning sun at a very civilised nine o’clock, despite some of us having been drinking till five in the morning. Swiftly everyone prepared with looks of excitement mixed with nausea (some of us can endure the rigours of a heavy night on the lash better than others). So, off trotted the cheerful adventures to do battle with the sea because apparently, Mach is about sea kayaking, I wouldn’t know as Tinkerbell and I were in the local drinking tavern perusing the beverages on offer. Eventually, they returned looking much wearier but with a glint of excitement, in their eyes having survived and come out battle-hardened from their fight with the Irish sea. Well, at least some of our valiant warriors did, at this point I’d like to throw a shout out to; Kirsty MacRae on an excellently executed forward flip culminating in her bursting her nose, Cinnamon Morgenegg (that is her real name) on her seal bodysurf (whatever that is) and to Maia Stables (Our young fresher who is being groomed to take over as social sec by the Salmon) who did a backflip and then went and threw up for a while (clearly incapable of handling her alcohol). We’ll skip over the next few hours as all we did was sit about and have food. Low and behold the inevitable did occur, the drinking resumed, hallelujah (though for some of us it never stopped). We all began to learn a bit too much about each other through the innovative drinking games came up with by our noble social sec and our resident strong man, Sam and Paddy. We discovered that I like Calum a bit more than is considered Platonic, that George, a living legend in the club is able to take down Hercules (Paddy) in a friendly game of Cornish sock wrestling (apparently that’s a thing) and that Spewy and her boyfriend, Brian (he’s a member of an inferior canoe club that’s name shall not grace this blog), enjoy taking pictures of them swapping saliva on other people’s phones whilst we were all distracted. The night continued in many ways like the prior one in that we all consumed alcohol in a sensible fashion and made sure we drank sufficient water to stay hydrated. This was until one of our highly respected older members was asked by a fresher to show her how the bus worked. So off set our valiant hero to acquire the keys from our glorious commodore, who happily obliged and gave him them over with an understanding look. This unsung hero happily showed our young freshers the inner workings of this fascinating automobile and eventually took her out for a ride in it.

The next morning was a more tedious affair with tidying having to be completed and packing up occurring. Once that was completed, we headed to the beach so that some hardy souls who were in need of an extreme hangover cure were allowed to enter once more into the fickle beast that is the Irish sea for one last paddle. Soon we all departed home, leaving behind a place we had all come to love. Friendships were forged, good memories were made and we shall never forget what was an incredible Mach.

xoxo

Gossip Greg

If you are feeling emotional after remembering that incredible trip or are touched by my story telling beneath is a link to some soothing music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVyggTKDcOE

North East Weekend 14/10/2016 - 16/10/2016

Amber alert for rains on Friday morning... exciting times ahead for both the unknowing freshers and the clubs finest and more dextrous.

The weekend started with the usual GUSA bus malarkey, not a big shock on that front, and off to the shed! Kit up! The wiser off to get their fav gear whilst freshers tried boats and excitement carried on to build up (Thankfully no one forgot their boat).
On the bus and off to ASDA to stock up on food, river snacks (they can save your life) and beverage (as well as some questionable not so wise food... yes breakfast curry was in the game).

Arrival on site and the classic introductory game that we all love and cherish, aka ice breaker did not shy from making an appearance. Everyone was in good spirit and the chat and fun times continued, a three man tower happened and a questionable (did it even happen?) human pyramid was attempted. All and all a great night that was to everyone's taste!

8am rise and shine: This was the day, breakfast curry materialised itself amongst our group of kayakers. Fully belly, happy soul! Off to the Findhorn. Some pretty solid games to warm up the body and the mind prior to the river accompanied by the best tunes. An ever so slightly emptier Findhorn than you would desire, but nevertheless a great river for freshers to SWIM, all but two swam, some more times than they would care to share. However our lovely older members also managed to save more than one swim, or empty a few boats, you know the drill.

Bottom of the river, get warm get the boats off to the warmth and get ready for the best pasta of your life! Trip secretary, social sec and a Stirling cook made the lovely GUCC bunch the best Bolognese you have ever tasted (THE ultimate culinary experience, if you like eating as much as a whole family should in one sitting). Custard and Strudel were in the game, and those you really do wish you'd had. The night progressed and the games picked up again, tributes to the booty gods were payed, Bago happened, Bago won in some cases, the group got to know each other way better with a little game we all like to call "Never have I ever" and other similar things and yet again a 10/10 night!

Morning breakfast, clean up (gather yourselves together) and off to The Tummel. OR at least the group though the river gods were appeased, all in all great fun in the river, but some carnage happened and rumour has it someone did not appease the gods. Bruises, cuts the usual drill plus a Kardashian worthy lip and two rather scary eyebrow injuries and a potential concussion happened on top of your usual fresher (and not so fresher swims). However morals were still high and some pretty impressive performances happened, I hear at least two hands of god took place and the group was definitely on a high!
All in all it was a great weekend, and as the fresher by now you have all gathered I am I have learned that it is an emotional roller coaster on a river (In my case more in a river due to my inability to stay on my boat on top of the water) where you can experience the full range of human emotion, from fear, to excitement, anger, tiredness, buzzing, gratitude and finally pure and uttermost joy.

GUCC thank you for a weekend I will not forget.

Post by Celia Robles Angel

SCAVENGER HUNT 5/10/2016

Sam the salmon developed his own little twist on the classic GUCC tradition of the scavenger hunt, mixing it up with a family feud theme! GUCC's esteemed 'older' members were divided into parents with the task of choosing famous families they would fashion crazy costume ideas from, these included, the Kardashians, the Incredibles, Toy Story, the Weasleys, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and Shrek's family! After adopting some fresh freshers, all families met at Bank Street Bar for the first task of a quick and fast boat race, however, all ready abandoned by their so-called parents, the Toy Story started on a back foot...

The Weasley family were the first family to sprint along to Coopers with their red hair flowing in the wind before downing a good old VK! Sam hadn't let the teams off lightly with mini-tasks given out to complete in order to add up more points, these included get up high, buy a single grape and acquire a sex toy...

Following Coopers, teams were dotted across the west end picking up points left, right and centre. Meeting up in Oran Mor, brawls were made to grab certain hats off opposing teams, all we know is don't touch a gals drink just take her phone...

Heading towards Bookclub for a vodka mixer, teams were required to pair off for a traditional wheelbarrow race, some getting bruised and cut up more than others, the losers then had to connect hands with a painful zip tie for the rest of the night, not ideal for bathroom situations is all I can say...

Each group tried to stay fancy down Ashton Lane in both Vodka Wodka and the Lane for shots and cocktails. Although some hooligans of the club had other ideas when it came to adding up points by stealing packets/bottles/boxes of ketchup, get some class Starbucks...

The hunt ended with a drink in each of the Uni's unions (yes, there isn't just the GUU...), a more than jolly Sam attempted to add up the scores in the Beer Bar, in between a sing/scream/wail to Bon jovi's, Living on a Prayer... before eventually coming to the conclusion that Peter Pan and Tinkerbells fam were successful in achieving the trophy for the 2016 scavenger hunt! However, this lead to protest from certain members of the club, campaigning for the resignation of Sam the Salmon Social Secretary, however, the protests were abandoned and he remains in high demand for more socials...

Wednesday nights ultimately calls for Viper, those who were still able to stand made their way towards the new and reformed club for guest list! The sweaty Wednesday sports nights never seem to fail us, with certain older members or shall we say male cougars, making their way around a few too many blondes that night on the pull...

Gossip along the grapevine highlights that we have a couple of polite freshers asking permission to pull certain lads, checking whether or not they were in a relationship or not, at least they have good manners....

The night turned out to be a bit to much for a couple of guys who's names both begin with J as they were found leaving, or shall we say falling, out of Viper after being thrown out...

All that is left to say is that The first social of the year was awesome and we can't wait for more! 

p.s If anyone is aware of the whereabouts of Neil's Mr Potato Head he would like to be reunited with his beloved.

xoxo 

Gossip Girl